eensy, weensy spider...

Okay. Here's a little anecdote for you. So last Thursday, after the OR, my clinical group and I went back down to our lockers to get our stuff. Please note: my clinical group consists of seven (girl) student nurses. So, we're packing up, I open my purse, and a supersized spider runs into the corner. I scream, throw my purse and jump on the bench. The girls all scream. The girls jump onto the bench. After our hearts start beating again, of course the girls ask, "why are we screaming?" So then we're all standing there staring at the purse, contemplating some sort of solution. We decide to shake the purse out. So we're shaking it upside down, contents all coming out; the spider clinging on for dear life. No way he's coming out. A couple of girls leave at this point. No way they want to be victims of a grisly homicide by a ninja-spider. So its just me and another girl. We're standing there for so long, just staring at my purse, that I start to wonder if maybe I just imagined this spider. So my friend says, "Let's flip it inside out". I agree, only because I'm debating if there really was a spider. So, we're flipping, carefully, and then-there he is!! The hairest, largest, meanest looking wolf spider you can imagine. You can guess this next part...I scream, throw the purse. My friend screams. We both jump on the bench.

This is where it gets interesting. We're both panting, about to have a heart attack. When we hear this annoyed voice from the next section of the lockers "Girls, girls! You're scared about a little spider?? OH...you...STUDENT NURSES!!" So she comes over, this woman, late twenties/early thirties. So she kinda stands there like..'please explain yourselves' type deal. Hands on her hips. To which I stammer, "There's a giant spider in my purse and I'm not sure but I think he's going to eat me alive. Would you be so kind as to be his next meal?" I don't remember if this is exactly what I said. Okay, it's not. But the point stands...

So, this woman agrees that we are way too girly and immature to ever be able to leave. And she is going to be the brave warrior who will rescue us. She strolls over to the purse. Picks it up. Begins to turn it inside out. Suddenly, she screams, throws the purse, jumps on the bench, releases a few explitives. And calmly explains that she has never seen such a beastly spider in her entire life. She says "I don't know what we're going to do now. I'm not touching that thing." So I go to the bathroom, and grab enough toilet paper to squash an elephant, and return it timidly to the woman. "Here". (Arent I nice?) So she takes a deep breath, grits her teeth, holds the purse out a few feet, and shakes it, turned inside out. The spider (foldly called, "Goliath") falls to the floor. We all scream and jump on the benches. The woman tosses the toilet paper on top, and grabs some mystery shoe from underneath the bench. The rest of the story, you can imagine. Let's keep this PG.

That was the end of Goliath. Although some say that if you watch very closely, you can still see his hairy body, haunting young student's nurses purses.